The Art of Draining Bodies
by Hannah Lynn McDonald
Summary: Sort of commentary on the difference between old and new vampyres.


"...drained dry."

"I beg your pardon?"

"The body—it's been bled dry; not a drop of blood left in it."

The was silence for a few moments, and confusion was clearly heard when he spoke again. "How can it possibly be 'bled dry'?"

"...the heart keeps pumping until all of the blood is drained out?"

"For goodness sakes!" He grabbed the younger man's hand and pulled him further down. "For the first thing, these punctures are too small to have bled out naturally—even had the heart continued pumping. And for the other -"

"But why not? They are rather large and -"

"Because even with large lacerations the blood will still clot, and with these punctures, they would have entirely clotted."

"...Oh."

"And, for the other, one simply _cannot_ completely empty the body of blood."

"How so?"

"Blood pressure, my boy!"

"Blood pressure?"

"Yes."

There was silence again as the young man absorbed that, and then he hesitantly spoke up again. "...Blood pressure?"

"Yes, it is what allows the blood to move through the body and allows the heart to continue beating. Without adequate pressure within the veins, the heart will not pump; and the blood will not move. And thus, the body simply cannot be bled dry for the heart will stop pumping long before the blood is gone."

"Oh."

"Precisely."

"...Then it must be a vampyre!"

"What? Good gracious!"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, of course I am, child—but what do you mean by 'vampyre'?"

"Well, a...vampyre. An undead. A creature of the night? Nosfertu? Dracula? Women of the night?"

"Dracula is a specific person, and women of the night—while they are called 'vampyres' – are not related in the slightest to what you mean. But what about this brings to mind a vampyre? It looks more the work of a hound or giant cat..."

"But that's how vampyres look! It's vicious and bloody and animalistic and they drink all of the blood and then trade blood and then -"

"What on earth are you talking about, boy?"

"Vampyres, of course!"

"Vampyres? Animalistic? Vicious?"

"Of course! They did that, didn't -"

"Not necessarily—would you stop poking the corpse!"

"I am sorry—not necessarily?"

"Thank you. And exactly -"

"Now you're poking the corpse!"

"And who is the elder of us, pray tell?"

"...You are."

"Precisely."

"Thank you."

"No need—what _were_ we talking of? Oh! I recall..."

"You do?"

"Yes. They only need a small bite to infect."

"Indeed they do—and don't need to take too much blood either. "

"No.

"Right...wait. What?"

"Hm? Oh, they only need a bit of blood."

"Parasites? Of course—but were we not talking of vampyres?"

"...one might argue that they are the same..."

"'We' and 'vampyres'?"

"No! Parasites and vampyres!"

"Oh. That makes more sense."

"Indeed."

"...Then it only takes a small bite?"

"Yes."

"Good heavens—then how can it ever be avoided?"

"Avoided?"

"The disease! If it would only take a small bite, then would not a scratch upon the hand do the same?"

"Perhaps—but if you are one to allow a vampyric-appearing being close enough to bite your hand, then perhaps you deserve it."

"Deserve it?"

"Don't shout so, child! Yes! Surplus population and all that..."

"But then wouldn't there be so much more vampyres?"

"Yes—if there were not hunters and sacred objects and cures..."

"Cures?"

"Yes—but not one I recommend. There are few people who can carry around holy water with them—let alone brand themselves."

"Branding?"

"Quite a long, long story... But child?"

"Yes?"

"If you should ever stumble across a box in the night or an empty castle, please do not tarry."

"Tarry? Why?"

"Because there is much in the night that is unseen until 'tis too late."

"Oh. Yes."

"...I think we are finished here."

"But we haven't-"

"Have you noticed how dark it is?"

"Now that you mention it..."

"We can send someone else out to collect the corpse."

"...It was just a dog or a cat, right?"

"Of course! Nothing to worry about. But nonetheless... Whatever are you doing?"

"Drawing crosses on my collar."

"...Oh? Well, we will certainly bring that to the attention of the animal that wishes to drain your blood first.

"Of course!"

"Precisely."

"...but I thought you said that one couldn't drain the blood!"

* * *

 _AN: To apologise or not to apologise... *sighs* Basically, I was watching the_ _Brides of Dracula_ _with Cushing while looking something up for the other Vampire story that I haven't named yet, and it occurred to me that the old vampyres are MUCH neater than any modern version I've ever heard of. This was supposed to be a paradoxical story of sorts between the old Van Helsing and the young John Watson (I think and write and there is a LOT of fanfiction in my head...); but kind of ended up just paradoxical and more of a mixture of the First Doctor and likely Ian—not surprising as I was watching the Dr. Who film. Don't think to hard. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!_ _5-29-2015_


End file.
